"Love.Life" - ann.machine

Spring? Bags, Girls, Hello Kitty, Good Beats. Lets do it.

2010-04-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

11:05PM

Spring with a question mark because of the damn calgary snow! ARGH.

WTF. Pictures from other post are not working =_=', way to lazy to re-find all those pictures.

I think I want a new banner. Anyone wanna make me one?!

Sorry I've been so M.I.A lately, been job switching, sm*king the usual. Gaining a bit of unnecessary weight from the munchies. Time for intense workouts yah? Anyone in? I've already got a few girlfriends ready to tackle the gym everyday with me, Julia, Ashley! Don't be leavin' me hanging now chickas. Gotta get that summer bod? I think I'm just going to delete that other post, nobody really msged me on if they liked it anyway, haha oh well. Doesn't look like the weather is allowing for my HK Group Photo, I need more participants anyway. Or need to like give away Hello Kitty Stuff for participants or something. I'll think of something...

Drooling for Spring Lines. 2010 impressed!

Louis Vuitton Handbag and Charms 2010, my personal favorites.

Lara Stone Modelling the NEO Monogram in color "Eden"

*Also modeling a dress from the LV Spring 2010 Collection.

The Bag from Advertisement : NEO Monogram in color Eden

* So pretty! Finally my favorite color green on something that doesn't look tree hugging.

The charms for the bag. *Heart!

Add to the NEO or any other bag for that little extra charm.

Circus Bag Charm, Color : Marron

Rainbow Bag Charm : Comes in 3 Very Spring Colors.

Foxy Charms : Also in 3 very spring bright colors.

Not sure if they are real fur? Must be for the price. Which I am SO AGAINST. But, if they aren't I would so rock one on my spring bag.

Glam Flower

*For keeping it girly. =)

The Pochette NightBird in Two Fabulous Colors.

Wearable 2 ways.

My Favorite, Purple. Purse Worn also as classic style wrist clutch.

Louis Vuitton Fail.

Sorry but there is always an ugly bag made by every designer. But what is "ugly" in the fashion world. If this bag isn't ugly. It's statement definitely leaves something to be desired. Or, perhaps it doesn't. Tell me what you think.

***Poll is on right side of page.

Rainbow Besace Emerald.

(Insert confused smiley here)

Also Loving,

Mulberry Spring 2010 Looks.

Making a "rant" for Ashley and dedicating it to her, as well as all my other female felines. Meow. Love Ya'll too much. Since you've got a little Louis Treat, you better read the written portion! Seriously, I'm only in hopes of making you women feel f*cking better about yourselves!

Beauty is a disease. Are you sick with it? (Initially, I had it as "Are you sick OF it, but haha the "with" made a lot more sense.) I had this title on my bbm status and it kept reminding me of a lot things. So here I am again, blogging again about silly female behavior.

*Please do not think I am hating, I'm again merely stating the everyday observations of the female generation in this day

and age.

Do you ever feel a bit insecure seeing that girl who appears really "hot" or "sexy"? Insecurities really get the best of us, bringing us so far down that we forget what to think or feel or believe in to pick ourselves back up. These insecurities attack the confidence we have in ourselves to approach other girls and especially men. And we get these insecurities because we focus way to much on the surface, what we can see, rather than on what's beneath, what we don't see. In seeing women who you believe are physically prettier than yourself, us women have tendencies in believing they have the upper hand in the dating world. On the surface, perhaps they do,

because men will always be incredibly shallow, but beneath its also possible that they don't stand a chance. Every woman has something about them they wish were different, or didn't like. Noses, Body types, Eyes, Lips, Thighs, Breasts, Asses, Stomaches, Height, Weight, Hair, ect. It's because we observe ourselves and then judge ourselves. In public, and behind closed doors, because society has become so shallow, we're scared these imperfections are going to affect our dating capabilities. I know when I was single, I was super critical of myself when I went on dates, or was meeting guys, or even around my girlfriends. Even now that I'm in a relationship there are moments my insecurities still get the better of me. We women are really good and finding out our flaws and letting them stand out, not to the public obviously, but to ourselves when we look in a mirror. Mirror's are tricky see, because every time you look in one, the only

thing you get to see is your physical appearance. And well there is also the saying, "Looks do not make 90% of a person, but they definitely do matter." In the truest of people, with hearts and eyes that see beyond looks, will tell you, "Looks definitely don't matter." But in the blunt face of reality, they actually do. I mean, look at the damn media, you don't see a girl on the cover of a magazine because of her personality. Anyways, back to looking in a mirror. Us women are really critical of ourselves, we look in a mirror and the first thing we see is our flaws. Then when we are all done up with makeup and everything and take another look at our reflections, we initially notice how "good" we look, opposed to how we look naturally, we truly believe because of the makeup and clothes that we look beautiful, then when its all gone, we look at our plain selves again and don't get the same satisfaction. Why is that? Why can't we

just look in a mirror, with no make up, no hair done up, and just say "Wow, I am a beautiful woman". I know I've never done it. Then women, who are naturally physically beautiful, without any make up, makes you even MORE critical of yourself. You find yourself thinking, Wow she is so pretty without any make up at all, and sub-consciously thinking, I wish it were the same for me. I'd like for technology to create a mirror that produces how we look under our physical appearance. Where we women who beat ourselves up with insecurities, can look in a mirror and see the under layers of our personality, which are what actually make up who we are as people. Along with mirrors, those "sexy" or "hot" girls or even naturally pretty girls don't improve our insecurities either. But in observation, even a natural pretty face without any make up, can prove to be a mask, hiding what the girl is all about because she is focused way to

much on the knowledge of her looks. There's nothing more worse than a girl who is pretty and KNOWS she is pretty. Then, a girl who wears flashy nice clothes and lots of make up, is just under another mask, hiding behind it because she's too scared to embrace anything else other than the knowledge of her looks. It's like they think "I'm pretty, thats all I need to be in this world, it's already gotten me this far." Yes, it's gotten them to a comfortable distance in life, but at what cost did it take to get there and the stepping stones to took to travel along the path of pretty, how strong and real were they?

What stepping stones are we taking to get to where we want to be in life?

Admit girls. We over think things. We see ex-girlfriends, new girlfriends, best friends, enemies, who we believe are prettier than us in appearance, and find ourselves feeling so insecure about it. It's like they're prettier than you, and you can't do anything about it, and you just find yourself so annoyed and yet almost sad because you wish you looked as good. Since we over think things, why don't ever we over think the facts?! Most of these girls, from my observation, are aware of their looks, so that all they focus on, thats all they empower themselves on, their looks. What do you feel empowered by? I believe that women, who are empowered by their successions, by their passions and cares, are far more beautiful than these masked superficial women could ever be. Would you rather be noticed for your looks, or your personality? Looks are easily overlooked, because at the end of the day, if your just a fake cocky superficial bitch,

thats what you'll attract, cocky superficial fake people. Who don't actually give a f*ck about you. All they are in your life for is your looks. Id rather have people who see me for more than just my looks, who care about my passions, who agree with my life intentions, who I can share common goals with that benefit my life and their lives. What lasting impressions do you want to leave on a man as a woman, on just people as a woman? Would you rather have everyone respect you for your looks, or respect you for who you are? Does that even exist? Respect towards looks? "Yah she is damn fine, I respect that" hahaha. You'd have to be a complete total shallow tool to say that. Why do you think women get labeled as "sexy" or "hot" anyway? These women who are aware of these labels, who strive on obtaining and sustaining these labels, in

my personal opinion, merely dangle the idea of sex to get what they want, what respectable beautiful woman would do that? Sex sells, thats the truth. But do you wanna be a sell out?

Okay women, I know we all need to get laid, especially the single ones. But be careful for what you wish for... hahaha kidding. Casual sex. Thats a whole other post entirely.

Some days I still feel that wave of yuckyness, and self hate on myself because of other beautiful women who just seem to stare in me in the face, and rub in the fact they look "hotter" than me, or stomp around in their heels showing off all the attention they're getting. It's hard to for us to transition from rejecting so called "beautiful" women and our so called "ugly" selves to accepting the physical differences between women. But luckily nowadays, more often I'm able to pity them because they are so focused loving the attention and their looks they forget to love themselves, forget to focus on things that matter, and while they're living off they're appearances, and being proud of their social status, I'm living off my personal goals, my education, my income, my intelligence, my thirst for real human connection with people, my strive for being humble, my family, my friends, and I'm proud of how many people i've been blessed to encounter and have in my life because they recognize who I am, and not what my social status is.

Concluding, I just want to say, you are NOT alone, and its completely natural. Being insecure is a flaw all on its own. But we've all been there and back. And no matter how confident you become, for the right reasons, there are still going to be insecurities arising. Women are always going to be competitive, and the media is always going to f*ck you over and try to put you down. It's really not easy trying to focus on things other than your looks, physical "beauty" is every where. You can't escape the masks, walking around you every day. But deciding to tolerate those girls in an intelligent manner, focusing on yourself and your life and your goals is already proven to make you, more beautiful than the next girl.

There is nothing more beautiful than a person who observes and doesn't judge, accepts and doesn't reject, & who focuses more on what's beneath rather than what's on the surface.

Don't worry, I have not forgotten, your : Hello Kitty Fix!

Hello Kitty Doggy Suit.

And, a track for you to listen to =)

Foreign Exchange, If this is love. Hip Hop with a housey feel. Thanks again to my boyfriend.

Hello Kitty Bag/Phone/Car Charms xo.

2010-03-10T16:41:00.000-08:00

Smile!

Current time : 5:43 PM

So my boyfriend nags at me that I start too many projects while many others aren't even finished. This is true. My weakness is that I'm a complete scatterbrain always trying to get so many things done at the same time. I started a novel like... 3 months ago with the goal of having at least half of it done by this month and I haven't even gotten through the 3rd chapter! =_='. Since I am blogging so much I am going to make it a necessity to share a bit of my novel with you guys so I have incentive to write!

To all new readers, thanks for following & be sure to check out the introduction post to get yourself aquatinted with my blog.

Also, started on the Hello Kitty Charms I wanted to make, got around to experimenting & was pretty pleased with the results.

Although with that experience now I know how I want to approach the other ones I will make.

4 Hours Later....

(My camera sucks so sorry the pictures aren't super great)

Every detail hand made from scratch by yours truly : ann.machine xo.

So thatil count for the hello kitty news feed for this blog.

I don't know how much I like the ribbon, I think I wanna aim for a more white gold silvery look next, and then a rose, yellow gold. I'm aiming for pearls, ribbon, mesh, hello kitty, pink, purples, blues, bright and baby colors. Inspired by Juicy Couture/ Betsey Johnson Jewelry kind of look.

Song to jam to while you browse my blog today:

Stole this one off my man's ipod, keep jackin' his music haha.

Gangsta Love (Title) Bobby Valentino (Artist) R&B (Genre)

"She got that gangsta love, I can't get enough" ;)

So... Trying to figure out a title for my book. I'll give you a little synopsis of it:

It's a story about a 28 year old guy, Ethan, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life. Ethan's life is pretty comfortable, he fixes computers during the day and coordinates the lights and music at a strip bar by night, has the 3 loves of his life, his condo, his car & his music but still feels he is missing something. The story begins with him believing that he needs a girlfriend to bring more social life into his everyday routine.His best friend Hannah, who lives across the hall and the main performer at the strip club he works at, Natalie, become the first two candidates. Ethan, a very introverted character full of insight and curiosity is constantly questioning the meaning of human connection, the reasons why people live and thrive in the world, and is continuously moved by the language of music.Having grown up in L.A and after moving to New York because of a brutal first love breakup, Ethan wonders if he is able to find love a second time because he is still disturbed by his ex, Tia, who left him to pursue acting in Spain.The story then goes through a whirl of different emotions, Ethan finds love but then his first love appears again in his life. Ethan finds contentment but then also discovers himself to unexpectedly become a father to a child from the woman he did not fall in love with, and so Ethan's simple daily life routine becomes a big mess of figuring and sorting out his actions and feelings.

I'm thinking of calling it "In Search of the Sunrise"

Because he's grown up loving and dj'ing electronic music its really a book about his own life discovery and self enlightenment.I hope Tiesto does have this song title copyrighted. Too bad Ethan's favorite dj isn't Tiesto... Haha.

*Will post beginning of story soon, along with pictures of more charms if I can gather up the hours...

~Smooch & Muah!

Brand Name Clothing Disease.

2010-02-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

The current time is 10:19.

[ Hey guys, thanks for taking the time to come take a look at my blog. If you follow my notes on facebook you'll realize I usually write a lot of my thoughts down, thought I'd direct them to blogger in hopes of finding a larger audience. Take a look (scroll down) at my intro post to get a feel on my blogs direction. & Please feel free to email me any comments xo. : aprill_ann@hotmail.com ]

- Current mood: pretty hungry =( but sacrificing my hunger to do this blog. Must blog. Must spread the word. What word? The word of hello kitty... JK. I'll stop smothering you guys with cuteness, I promise.

------->Dear Calgary Corner:

To the ladies, I hope you all got a chance to review my note on facebook "Beautiful Girls Travel In Groups" (its also on this blog, please scroll down to read), just some insight on how girls become friends in the city, pretty sure it runs the same way everywhere else.

The controversy on brand names. INSERT BRAND NAME HERE ON T-SHIRT, BAG, JEANS, JACKET, HAT.

Now I myself, am a victim of the buying for brand name crime. I like certain fashion lines, fits, styles. Sometimes (most times) If I feel its worth it, I will spend x amount of dollars on a leather jacket because of where it comes from, what brand it is and how it fits and looks. Mind you, most of my purchasing choices are based mostly on price, fit, style, look, then.. brand. I've out grown buying clothes that stamp the name of their brand all over their sh*t. There really isn't any personal style involved in buying these clothes. The argument? Some lines can be pretty brandy, some are based more on style and keep their name only on the tag, & some lines are jst f*cken idiotic. Now we all want to look good, classy, expensive. Money is status & power & runs our society. (Into hell hahaha) [ side note: I have GOT to stop swearing ] Anyhow, there still are a few of you stuck in the buying of brands crimes. How do you justify G-Star clothing for example? I will argue that yes, it's style is edgy, modern and some times are worth the purchase. (I myself have a few G-star things in my closet) But f*cken white T-Shirt that says "G-Star" on the front for f*cken $100+ dollars?

GIVE ME A BREAK.

G-Star isn't the only one... Now your going to ask me. "What about designer bags April? I know you've got a few". I've got a different opinion on monograms. Most designer bags focus on a monogram of their logo all over their bags, some styles don't even have any monograms printed on it (marc jacobs). Bags are a different story, especially designer ones. Louis Vuitton for example started out as a suitcase company, and is well known for its durability. Any bag thats x amount of stupid dollars has to be made with the best quality leathers, materials and machines. I swear by all my designer bags and most are purchased because of style and compatibility, rarely any are very brandy.

When I mean brandy, I'm talking mostly names. Jackets that have "DOLCE & GABANNA" written all over it, shirts that have "CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER" written all over it. Brands can be excused when subtle. Most stylish, classy lines are very subtle with their branding. Some clothes you can look and just know who designed it because of the way it looks. BUT there are just too many brands who make plain clothes and stamp "DOM REBEL" or "SMET" on the front with lame looking writing to make it expensive.

Wake up Calgary & get some style, sheesh. I'm one to talk though, I've got some brandy stuff. I guess thats just society though. Where does the line cross between being stylish and being brandy. Me? I love to cheap shop. If I can find something a jacket that fits me awesome and looks chillin' thats 30 bucks and find another one that LOOKS JUST LIKE IT at say... Urban thats 150. Hell, I'm gonna rock 30 bucks and say "yah, I got this from stitches". I got a car to pay off ya'll. I wanna say if I had the money to blow I wouldn't be such a saver shopper but thats not true, clothes come and go, especially with girls. Girls clean out their closets almost 5+ times a year, but new clothes and give away most. Plus they just cover your body. Remember adam & eve? They only had leaves! hahaha... Anyways, Calgary, what I'm really trying to say is, for all you who rock super brandy expensive clothes and think your above me in society, you just look like a carbon copy of the rest of the people who dress like you because they can afford it, and your style reads "straight up wasted my money on these clothes because I can't figure out my own personal style, thats right, my style is BALLLINNNNN" =)

First off: Song of the day: Doctor P (Artist) Sweet Shop (Song) Dubstep (Genre)

---> Shout out to Takz (from AnimeLeague) for showing me this track. Enjoy...

Hello Kitty News Feed of the day. xo.

/fashion feed (cuz it's a plush hello kitty jacket!) verrrrry fashionable.

Beautiful Girls Travel In Groups.

2010-02-23T00:05:00.000-08:00

First wrote this on Fbook. Decided to post it here since my good friend dat liked it enough to tell me to start up my rants and other sh*t on a blog. Haven't really been on here lots but re-updated my blog and will be posting as much as I can.

----------->Shout out to Dat!

Anyways, Beautiful Girls Travel In Groups.

Its funny how pretty girls gravitate towards other pretty girls and then become friends, a friendship based on looks, when underneath it all it's just a competition or a encouragement to be pretty or feel pretty because your surrounded by other beautiful girls.

Fake BS.

If you want to appreciate your friends' looks, that's awesome. Good on you for that.

All women are beautiful beings, it's more that possible a group of girlfriends might all be good looking who have been friends before they even cared about their looks.

BUT GIVE ME A BREAK.

It's like all the pretty girls in this city MUST be friends and then as soon as they realize its all fake and backstab each other, they just decide to find other pretty looking girlfriends.

Then the wars of groups begin. Girls stick to their group of beautiful friends and hate on every other group that comes together. It's like one huge f*cken contest of who can have the better looking group of girlfriends.

Eventually in these groups of fake friendships and jealousy and competition, girls backstab each other and then seek out a different group of beautiful girls.

A lot of the groups communicate simple "hello's" & "hey girl, you look beautiful" to each other every now and again at the bar or mall. This only happens though if they've collected enough girls in the group to be intimidating. The "better" the group, the more often girls can't be cocky towards you, so then send a fake greeting because they can't do anymore more than that. Or... the more social status a girl has gained, the more fake greetings she'll receive.

You know when I was younger and didn't do a lot to look very pretty or dress up or be very in style, girls used to look down on me and be rude to me and give me dirty looks. Then I decided to become more feminine, wear more make up, find more personal style, started meeting people through mutual interests, musics, socializing and then BAM all these girls who were such bitches to me are all of a sudden so nice to me?

It's a social lion pit!

Like hello? Do you not recognize me? I'm that girl you used to condescend...

Maybe I should dress like a bum all the time, so I don't have to deal with all your fake greetings.

Even working at bubbles, sometimes i'm too damn lazy to do the whole 9 beautiful yards, funny the reactions I get on those days, sometimes some of those girls act like they don't even know me and then that weekend at the bar when I'm all dolled up,

"April, Hi! Omg you look so good, who are you here with?" lol.... Uhh didn't I just see you at my work and you completely ignored me?

And on a rare occasion, you'll find girls who are just nice and friendly to everyone because they are chillin. Like me ;) hahaha

Seriously.. If i'm nice to you one day and see you another day, I could give a flying f*ck how you look, of course I'm still going to say hi.

Anyways, It's all such a joke.

And i'll admit, ive been there.

But one day I woke up realizing the reality of, "omg you look so good" is a.k.a "f*ck she looks better than me". And I've done that myself. Then we beat ourselves up because we can't stand the fact that were not the best looking or as good looking as our friends.

The only reason why we think this is because the only reason we became friends in the first place was because we were attracted to each other by looks.

Its the inevitable outcome, our friendships based merely on the attraction of each other, gravitating towards each-other because of our looks!

If your a real friend to your girlfriends, you should encourage your girlfriends to love who they are, and stop pointing out all the beautiful women you wish you all could look like.

I did a little experiment, whilst walking through the mall, or the bar, Instead of giving a girl that "stare" that cocky "i'm better than you stare" or that "who the fuck are you stare", I instead smiled, at every single one, and out of lets say 20 girls, I got 4 smiles back, 12 "who the fuck are you stares" and 4 "i'm better than you stares" back as well.

*sigh* So what should we do about this? Maybe we need to re-evaluate why we are friends with the girls we are friends with, if we truly care about them or if they truly care about us? We got to pick out our friends blindly, as if we had no idea how they looked.

And to the girls who have proven friendships based much more on just the attraction of each other's looks,

Thanks for keepin' it real. Sorry to all those I was ever fake to & to every girl who has been fake to me, know you deserve to have real friends despite your tendencies, I've been there and back and beauty is truly only skin deep. I hope we can all find deeper beauties in all our friends.

Thanks for reading my rant! Hope you learned something from it.

Will I have time for you? Again?

2009-10-19T01:22:00.000-07:00

Having spent so much time in the real world lately, I completely forgot about my online life. As the internet now has become this vast, significant contribution to communication in this world, I realized I kind of missed being a part of it all. Although I do admit being a little bit of a Facebook "whore", I've been bored with the whole bit for a long while now. Not enough room to share what I throughly enjoyed sharing with my online community. Not enough mystery, as much as I love to share what is in my mind and in my life with people I know, I missed the power of sharing with those I have never met. Facebook is not exactly the place you want to be connecting with people you've never met, especially online. Not enough dialogue. Facebook really is exactly what it is a titled, an online book of faces, basically the ultimate tool for creeping your "friends". "Oh lets see what April has been up to in her life..." *clicks on search bar engine* *types in April Ann Ulanday* *view's recent pictures* *reads recent notes*. I suppose it's also a nice tool for communicating with your friends, "keeping in touch", recording experiences shared together, photographs are always valuable, in any situation. The mysteries of the internet though, millions of people sharing their passions, talents, dreams, lives, with millions of other strangers. Youtube, Myspace, Blogger, Xanga, Local sites (vancouver exchange, calgary planet), friendster, deviantart, suicidegirls, babeblvd, ect. Not to mention forums. Will I have time for you? Again? My online abyss?